Baseball, Sleep, and Mommy's feelings.

Firstly, This is a picture of Charlotte wearing her Grandpa's Angels Baseball Cap. He's trying to start her on his favorite baseball team before she can even focus her eyes on the game :) I have a feeling her GramWOW is going to be getting her a redsox onesie at the first opportunity. Luckily we're all Forty niner's fans so come football season the rivalry won't be so steep.

Onward!

 So in starting my mommy blog for Charlotte I seem to have forgotten one key factor . . . mommies don't get to sleep. Somehow I lost this memo that every mother and book on parenthood gives you right up front. So I'd like to start by apologizing for starting a blog with promises to keep everyone updated on the most adoreable baby in the entire world, and then forgetting to post on it.
Sleep however is part of my topic for this evening. I'm sitting at my computer tonight because Lottie is gratefully upstairs sleeping peacefully with her daddy. I should be doing the same truth be told, but this is something that I as a new mother am struggling with. With all of the do's and don't's that are bounced around in the first weeks of motherhood, "Clean the umbilical cord with peroxide until it falls off" "No doctors tell you not to touch the umbilical chord" "Boil the water you use to make formula to kill bacteria that is actually found IN the formula" "FORMULA? You're supposed to be breast feeding" etc, there is one thing that everyone seems to agree on and offer as advice. "Sleep when the baby sleeps."
This seems so easy. Having never been one to be able to adhere to normal sleep hours, but one who loves sleeping more than is probably healthy, I should be totally okay to plop down and take a nap at any point in the day. Not to mention, Charlotte does have nights (Though she hasn't had ANY this week) Where she sleeps for HOURS at a time. I'm struggling however, with the idea of not paying attention to my child for HOURS at a time. When were awake, no one wants to leave the baby alone. We as mothers invest in HIGH TECH baby monitoring systems to see and hear and probably in the near future SMELL our babies to make sure that if we're not in the room with them we can still know that they are safe. Combined with what I think is a minor case of the post partum baby blues, and the stresses of motherhood, I can't for the life of me become comfortable with embracing my REM cycle and not paying attention to Charlotte. It's counter to the instincts that lead women to buy such elaborate baby monitors and nanny cams. So this week, started with a mommy that was too afraid to shut her eyes, and is ending with a very colic-y baby. I'm hoping that the sleep gods and the relaxation gods can bless us both with a few hours of peace once I finish this blog, because I took a nap today for an hour and felt a thousand times better, if I get through this night with some solid sleep I may actually feel like a human again. Mommies out there, any thoughts on battling the different paranoia's and anxieties we feel as a first or even tenth time mother? How do I find the balance between paying too little attention to my baby and being awake at three am cramming jelly sandwiches into my mouth as I stare at a baby who's sleeping soundly? And how in goodness' name do I battle the screaming baby who is so obviously not feeling well when the colic sets in and the damn drops aren't working ?

Now on to the important things. Hilights in my beautiful daughter's week.
As you can see, she has gotten a new dress this week, and is absolutely beautiful. This week Charlotte started REALLY smiling, even if she doesn't really realize how or why she's doing it yet. She lights up and her entire little face crinkles up. She's much more awake and alert this week, and I find myself losing hours at a time to staring into my daughter's gorgeous eyes and taking photos of her, and she had her first encounters of substance with our kitties. A few days ago an fascinated Gobbles decided to give Charlotte some kisses as she sat in her bouncy seat. I was a safe distance away, able to get to her in a seconds time, but Also wanting to let our furry babies get adjusted to the new baby. All seemed to be going well until Gobbles gave her a kiss (more like tried to lick the breast milk off of her mouth) and she began to cry. Then I watched in horror (and a little bit of humor) as gobbles Just once, with a declawed paw, popped her on the side of the face. Charlotte immediately stopped crying and stared in confusion, and gobbles meowed at her and looked at me as if to say "That's all you gotta do mama." Ofcourse I had to shoo him away with a smack on the butt, but that's the tale of Charlottes meeting with Gobby.

A few days later, I fell asleep on the couch holding the baby on my chest. I woke up a little disoriented and was petting Charlotte. That was confusing. I opened my eyes to realize that Pippy with her tiny little body was snuggled on top of both charlotte and myself, with her paws dangling over the sides of the baby, licking the back of her head and purring. Sadly I had to again shoo her away because I can't allow my kitties to think it's okay to snuggle or pop the baby in the face, both can be dangerous, But so far the adjustment to baby and kitties co-habitating is going smoothly.

Now if I can only get them to stop sleeping in the Pack & Play!!

I hope you all enjoy the pictures of Lottie this week and I promise I will get updates of this weekend with the baby up MUCH sooner than it took me to write this blog!

Much love from Charlotte and her mommy!